A quiet morning

It's so quiet in the house this morning. I've been up for almost an hour and a half and nobody else is up. The kids are all sleeping.

It's nice to have some time by myself. I can enjoy the silence (remind me of an old song by Depeche mode)... Do you miss the silence from time to time... when the kids are there, it's hard to find this peace in the house.

So let's enjoy it...

Open-minded

I always thought that I was open-minded. I like to travel, read a lot, like to hear different point of view... those characteristics are the ones who define open minded people, don't you think?

Recently, I discover a part of myself that I don't like. I'm less receptive when someone let me know his point of view. I'm not judging or anything but I found myself irritated. Not on all subject but in certain subject like education, family, values... Subjects that are important to me.

What's wrong with me...

Control

Sometimes I feel like I'm losing control of my life. Like someone else is making choices for me. I don't like that feeling. It's like I'm losing myself in the process. Have you experienced this kind of sensation ?

A few years ago when I've decided that I was deserving a better life I promised myself that I wouldn't let anyone interfere with my life. I guess I failed. Cause there's always someone interfering with my life and I hate it.

I need to take control of the situations... I've got to do it now.

my special angel

These days I'm thinking a lot about one of my pregnancy. It was the week before I got married that I learn that I was pregnant. I had some doubt cause I was late. I gave the urine sample to my husband and he want to the lab while I was working. About an hour later, he arrived at the office with flowers and a stuffed animal. We were very excited and we couldn't wait to tell our families and tell the kids.

Two days before our wedding I woke up and I was bleeding a lot. We went to the hospital and it was too late. I had a miscarriage. It's been very hard for both of us. We cried every night for weeks until I became pregnant with our little Joey.

We've kept the stuffed animal and every morning we look at him and say that it's Joey's little angel. Today it's our 4th wedding anniversary and with all the joy that this anniversary is bringing I wanted to say to my little angel that I still think about him.

I will always love you my special angel...

The true meaning of frienship

A few months ago, I wrote a post about a new virtual friendship. But since then this virtual friendship as turn into a real friendship and I'm glad I took the chance :)

My new friend is a really nice person. She's a little shy so it's going to take some time for me to discover all her secrets. But it doesn't matter cause friendship as no limit of time. So there's no rush... just pleasure.

It's been a while since I had a real friendship with a woman. In the past I prefered to have friendship with men. They're so easy to be friend with. The only problem is that I don't think that men and women can be friend. Why? Because there's always one of them who wants to sleep with the other. And all the efforts are ruin the day you find out. Maybe some person can, but for my experience it never has.

So with a girl you can chat on the phone, tell your deepest secrets, be yourself... it's like an husband except that they don't expect you to perform in the bedroom area :)

So to my new friend... I already like you and I will work hard to develop our relationship cause I think you worth it :) I'm going to make a toast to a meaningful, committed, and long lasting friendship !

mamma maniac

A few weeks ago I watched the movie "Mamma Mia" with my family.... it was a revelation that soon became an addiction :) We are now "mamma maniac". We just watch it over and over again. We bought the soundtrack. We listen to it in the car, with our ipod, our pc... it's everywhere. Is there a remedy for that kind of addiction ? Oh no ! Here it comes again... I've got to watch it... bye bye :))

And by the way, I don't have to tell you that our family love that movie... lolll So go, get your copy and become a mamma maniac like us :))

Time to let go...

I've been thinking a lot lately. Thinking about a certain relationship that is bringing me sadness and frustration for years now. I've made a lot of move to help this relationship heal but it seems like there's nothing to do about it.

This weekend I came to the conclusion that you need to have two persons who wants to have that kind of relationship if you want it to succeed... and in my case there's not. I feel like I'm the only one making efforts. Every time that I tried to bring something it's seen like a manipulation and honestly it's not. So I've decided that it's time to let go... this dream that I had for so long is coming to an end.

Why? Because it's not bringing anything to me else than pain and frustration. And I'm through. I won't put myself in that position again. The time has come. I'm going to surround myself with people who brings me happiness for now on. So if that person recognise herself I just want to tell her that for now on if she wants a relationship with me, she'll have to make the move.

A difficult road for a father

My husband is a father of four. One from our marriage and three from a previous relationship.

My husband is a great father. He's the kind of daddy that I would have love to have when I was a kid. He's caring and patient. Sometimes I just watch him interact with our little one and I tell myself that Joey is very lucky to have a daddy like him.

Syl, my husband, knows how lucky he is to have that kind of relationship with Joey. He knows to well. 'Cause since his divorce he has a big challenge : see his three other kids. Sometimes when a divorce happen, things are difficult between the parents and too often fathers see their rights disappear. It's his situation.

I do understand that there are bad fathers... but there are also bad mothers. It's hard to be a parent and harder to be a great parent. But if you want the best for your child and you seek for his best interest, you'll be a great parent. But if you seek for your best interest and not your child's you're making a mistake. And it's sad for the parent who love his child and can't spend time with him.

So I do hope that someday Syl will get to see his children more often 'cause I'm sure that they deserve to know what kind of daddy he is...

And for you my love... be patient 'cause someday they'll be adults and they'll understand.

MJ last goodbye

Today I watched MJ last goodbye. I don't know if you watched it but it was very respectful of the man behind the character.

One of my oldest memory is from the 70's. This memory took place the day that Elvis died. My mother has been so surprised by the news of his dead that she broke one of her finger. And I remember when she came to our room after the hospital. But I didn't realize the importance of that day cause I was just a kid.

On june 25th when MJ died, it was my son's 13th birthday. So this day will always been remember. It will always be my son's birthday but also the day that the king of pop said goodbye.

So with all my respect... god bless you Michael xx

Rach and Jk

Thursday my new friend Rach and her son Jk came to my home for a nice afternoon. It was really nice. She's a very interesting person and I just know that we're going to be great friends.

Her son is so funny. He's cute and very polite. I hope Joey and he will also become friends.

You should have seen jk with our rat "Sauteur". I think he took 10 pictures of the rat ;-) I like to see how kids are fascinated by animals.. it's magical.

I do hope that we'll have that kind of encounter again... very soon hopefully...

Thanks Rach and Jk... our family really appreciate you guys...

007 - James Bond

For Christmas, I bought the James Bond movie collection as a gift to my husband. It's a collection of all the James Bond movies. (except Quantum of Solace but I bought it in March so the collection is now completed)

My husband is a James Bond fan. I think I know why. James Bond is a secret agent. He's good looking, charming, funny and very talented. In fact, he's the kind of man that every little boy dreams to become.

When I gave Syl this gift, I wasn't a fan. I watch "Die another day" a few years ago and that was the only movie I ever watched.

But my husband wanted to see them all. Beginning with the first one "Dr. No".

So every week we watched at least one James Bond movie and last night we watched "Quantum".

After all these movies, I have to say that i'm quite impress. James Bond is so much more than a movie hero... This character has been there for more than 40 years, twenty-two movies and has been portrayed by 6 actors... and after all these years, he still relevant.

So now we don't have a James Bond fan in the house... we have 4... thanks for all those great movie night James !

Smile

There's not a day that I don't receive a funny email. Each time it's like opening a box of cereals and searching the surprise inside. Always by the same circle of friends.

Good day, bad day, the email arrive. Sometimes two, three or four emails the same day. And for that I'm grateful. Just to know that someone wants to put a smile on my face means a lot to me.

So to my friends... thanks guys !

And like I'm a great friend I send some to my friends too ;-) So we keep each other smiling...

Virtual friendship

A few weeks ago, I met someone through my blog. This person seems like a very interesting person. She tells just enough about herself to keep me curious... We discuss through our blog and twitter. I think that we have enough in common to expect a friendship. In the worst case scenario it wouldn't work out. But I really want to try... so if you read me, let me know if you're interested ;-) Maybe our virtual friendship could become a real friendship...

My sons

As you know, I have three lovely sons, Jamie , Kevin and Joey. Those three are the light in my life. They brought me so much joy. They are three funny kids. Always laughing and smiling. They are like teddy bears... always hugging and kissing. There's no word to describe how happy I am to have them in my life.

Jamie is my oldest one. He will turn 13 next month. He's the "techno boy". Sometimes we think that he was born with a mouse or a joystick in his hands... videogames have no secret for Jamie.

Kevin is 11 years old and he's the "sporty boy". I can't find a sport that Kevin hasn't try. At the opposite of Jamie who is a loner, Kevin is really friendly. Give him two minutes in a new place and he knows everybody.

Joey is our baby. He'll turn 3 in july. Joey is much younger than his brothers cause we had him has a gift for ourselves after my husband had cancer. He's a little boy with a lot of temper. You always know how he feels... like his mother and father ;-)

I am very lucky to have them in my life...

Mother's day

Sunday it's mother's day... another one since I became a mother (12 years ago). I just love this day. I think that the person who decided that there was going to have a day to celebrate motherhood was a genius.

Be a mother is a great pleasure, a gift. But motherhood also means forgetting about yourself. Always put your kids first. And for that we deserve some gratitudes.

Between you and me, just to know that there's a day in a year that is there just for mother's happiness is great. And sunday I'm going to appreciate my day. Hope you will to.

Happy mother's day to all of you... and for the fathers who read me... you'll have your turn next month ;-)

The best gift

If you ask people what is the most important thing in a relationship they will say love. If you ask me I'm going to answer honesty.

Before we were married or even before we felt in love, me and Syl were friends. In fact, friends is an understatement. I should say soulmates. First time we met we had a kind of connection like we already knew each other. Immediate complicity.

From that time of friendship is based our relationship. We were great friends. Never judging, always honest with each other, wanting the best... you know, things that we share with friends. So when our relationship went from friends to "more than friends" those things were already there. So we made a pact to keep it that way.

Sometimes it's more difficult than other to keep that promise, but we always have in mind that it's the best gift we gave our relationship... honesty !

My husband, the hard worker

I'm very lucky... I have a really good husband. Okay, I know that everybody say that about their husband. So it's nothing new. But I really think that my husband is special. Why? Because he's really devoted to his family, he's a hard worker when it comes to his job but also when it comes to his family.

Last week, he had a really busy week at work. He even had to work saturday. But today, he spent all day long finishing the construction of the boys house in the backyard. And tonight, he's preparing the job for tomorrow...

I know that he would have prefer to spend some quiet time to relax but he knew that things needed to be done. So he did it.

But don't worry, I'm taking really good care of him... and will make sure that he takes some time for himself.. and to rest a bit ;-)

Thanks honey... I'm lucky to have you.

Lucky to be a mother

This morning I was thinking how lucky I was to have three lovely sons. There's a lot of women who won't have the chance to be a mother. Others will become mothers and won't appreciate all the treasure that come with being a mom.

Sometimes when I watch my kids, I become emotional. Why? Because it's such a gift. The best gift of all. Having the chance to love and cherish a kid. Show him life. Show him how to love. How to appreciate things. Build his fondation. Help him throught tough time and laugh with him in the good time.

For all that, I'm very grateful. Thanks guys for giving me the chance to be a special mom, your mom...

Regrets

Sometimes I have regrets about decisions I made in the past. I know that everybody does. But I can't stop thinking about some bad decisions I made. Decisions that influence my present now. I know that I can't change things but I can't help thinking about it.

Sometimes I think that I'm too emotionnal. That's the reason why I took some bad decisions in the past. But do we have to pay for decisions made a milion year ago ? I know that it's not a milion year ago but it seems like that to me.

The problem with decisions is that when you have to take one, you don't have a lot of time to think about it. Most of the time, you have to think fast. Sometimes you don't even have time to think.

Maybe I think too much...

In love... over and over again

Last night, I was with my husband and I was feeling so in love that I wondered if it was possible to be so happy... so in love. Sometimes we think that we have it all and with time we realize that it can get better... it's a really nice feeling... almost too good to be true... almost impossible.

But this morning I had the same feeling again, and I know that tonight it will be there again... so it must mean that there's never a end to a growing love... even after all these years...

Thanks to you baby... you make it all possible...

Happiness

What does it take to be happy? Some people are going to say money, others will say family, others will say love... what is the good answer to that question?

My opinion on that matter is that happiness can be found in each little thing that we do in a day, in every moment that we spend with people we love. In fact, happiness can be found everywhere. We just have to open our eyes to see it...

tv show

I don't watch a lot of tv but it seems like there's a lot of good tv show on the air. I watch one tv show and it's "24". This show is so addictive that I don't want to start another addiction ;-) But from time to time when I open the tv and change the channel I can see that there's some good stuff going on. With "24" who is almost finish for the season... do you have a tv show to suggest ? House, the Office, Lost... Any suggestion?

My trip to Washington DC

This weekend I was in Washington with my family. What a great city ! The architecture is beautiful, people are very welcoming, and there's a lot of activities.

We've visited some museums and I have to say that it's impossible to see everything. There's so much stuff... But the kids really appreciated the Air and Space museum and the Natural history museum. And those two were free !!!

We also visited Madame Tussauds's museum and it worths the price. Another activity that was a winner with my kids was Potomac Park. We did some paddling boat and saw the Jefferson memorial. What a nice way to visit !

Forget the political Washington... Washington is a nice family place to visit !!!