A quiet morning

It's so quiet in the house this morning. I've been up for almost an hour and a half and nobody else is up. The kids are all sleeping.

It's nice to have some time by myself. I can enjoy the silence (remind me of an old song by Depeche mode)... Do you miss the silence from time to time... when the kids are there, it's hard to find this peace in the house.

So let's enjoy it...

Open-minded

I always thought that I was open-minded. I like to travel, read a lot, like to hear different point of view... those characteristics are the ones who define open minded people, don't you think?

Recently, I discover a part of myself that I don't like. I'm less receptive when someone let me know his point of view. I'm not judging or anything but I found myself irritated. Not on all subject but in certain subject like education, family, values... Subjects that are important to me.

What's wrong with me...

Control

Sometimes I feel like I'm losing control of my life. Like someone else is making choices for me. I don't like that feeling. It's like I'm losing myself in the process. Have you experienced this kind of sensation ?

A few years ago when I've decided that I was deserving a better life I promised myself that I wouldn't let anyone interfere with my life. I guess I failed. Cause there's always someone interfering with my life and I hate it.

I need to take control of the situations... I've got to do it now.

my special angel

These days I'm thinking a lot about one of my pregnancy. It was the week before I got married that I learn that I was pregnant. I had some doubt cause I was late. I gave the urine sample to my husband and he want to the lab while I was working. About an hour later, he arrived at the office with flowers and a stuffed animal. We were very excited and we couldn't wait to tell our families and tell the kids.

Two days before our wedding I woke up and I was bleeding a lot. We went to the hospital and it was too late. I had a miscarriage. It's been very hard for both of us. We cried every night for weeks until I became pregnant with our little Joey.

We've kept the stuffed animal and every morning we look at him and say that it's Joey's little angel. Today it's our 4th wedding anniversary and with all the joy that this anniversary is bringing I wanted to say to my little angel that I still think about him.

I will always love you my special angel...

The true meaning of frienship

A few months ago, I wrote a post about a new virtual friendship. But since then this virtual friendship as turn into a real friendship and I'm glad I took the chance :)

My new friend is a really nice person. She's a little shy so it's going to take some time for me to discover all her secrets. But it doesn't matter cause friendship as no limit of time. So there's no rush... just pleasure.

It's been a while since I had a real friendship with a woman. In the past I prefered to have friendship with men. They're so easy to be friend with. The only problem is that I don't think that men and women can be friend. Why? Because there's always one of them who wants to sleep with the other. And all the efforts are ruin the day you find out. Maybe some person can, but for my experience it never has.

So with a girl you can chat on the phone, tell your deepest secrets, be yourself... it's like an husband except that they don't expect you to perform in the bedroom area :)

So to my new friend... I already like you and I will work hard to develop our relationship cause I think you worth it :) I'm going to make a toast to a meaningful, committed, and long lasting friendship !

mamma maniac

A few weeks ago I watched the movie "Mamma Mia" with my family.... it was a revelation that soon became an addiction :) We are now "mamma maniac". We just watch it over and over again. We bought the soundtrack. We listen to it in the car, with our ipod, our pc... it's everywhere. Is there a remedy for that kind of addiction ? Oh no ! Here it comes again... I've got to watch it... bye bye :))

And by the way, I don't have to tell you that our family love that movie... lolll So go, get your copy and become a mamma maniac like us :))

Time to let go...

I've been thinking a lot lately. Thinking about a certain relationship that is bringing me sadness and frustration for years now. I've made a lot of move to help this relationship heal but it seems like there's nothing to do about it.

This weekend I came to the conclusion that you need to have two persons who wants to have that kind of relationship if you want it to succeed... and in my case there's not. I feel like I'm the only one making efforts. Every time that I tried to bring something it's seen like a manipulation and honestly it's not. So I've decided that it's time to let go... this dream that I had for so long is coming to an end.

Why? Because it's not bringing anything to me else than pain and frustration. And I'm through. I won't put myself in that position again. The time has come. I'm going to surround myself with people who brings me happiness for now on. So if that person recognise herself I just want to tell her that for now on if she wants a relationship with me, she'll have to make the move.